Posted May 05, 2018 03:21:37You may have heard the word ‘retaliatory’.
Some people call it a ‘tough love’.
And some people call that a ‘love’.
And then there are the women who say it’s a ‘blessing’.
In a recent survey, one in five women (21%) said they felt ‘brought back from the dead’ after leaving their husband, while one in eight (11%) of men felt ‘depressed’ after their wives left them.
Some men say they didn’t want to leave because they knew they’d be left alone by their wife.
But, according to a study, some men say their wives weren’t happy with the way things were.
The study, which was published in the journal Social Science Research, found that while many men are more likely to feel upset after leaving, women are more upset by the same circumstances that led to their departure.
“We found that men who have experienced a separation or divorce are significantly more likely than men who haven’t experienced separation or a divorce to be experiencing feelings of ‘depression’ and ‘mixed emotions’ and feelings of wanting to ‘bring back from death’ from their experience of separation or marriage,” the researchers said.
The results showed that men are often blamed for the loss of loved ones and a sense of isolation.
“When men are blamed for their marriages breaking down, it’s not because they didn, in fact, leave, it is because they were too afraid to leave,” lead author Jessica Gifford said.
“It’s because men are not taking responsibility for their own lives and that’s why they feel like they are the one in control of their lives.”
In a report published in February, the New York Times said women have a history of blaming men for the problems they face.
“In recent years, more women have blamed men for their marriage breakdowns and divorces than blamed husbands for their lives, even when men are the ones who are responsible for their problems,” the report read.
“The pattern of blaming has continued after the recession, with more women blaming men and more blaming themselves.”
In addition to blaming men, some women are blaming men who leave them alone.
“I feel so sad about the fact that I can’t control my feelings and emotions and I’m unable to control my body and I can no longer hold onto my husband,” one woman told the New Yorker.
“There’s something very wrong with me, so it’s just a way of blaming someone else.”
According to the report, many women feel guilty for leaving a husband alone, as well as feeling that they are unable to hold onto their partner and children.
“A lot of women feel guilt because they’re too afraid of what will happen if they leave, they’re afraid of not being able to control the relationship,” Dr Giffords said.
And the results of the survey showed that even if a woman doesn’t feel guilty, it can have a profound effect on her.
“You’re not sure if you are a good or a bad person, and you’re not really sure if what you do is the right thing or not,” Dr. Giffarts said.
In a 2013 study, researchers from the University of Queensland, in Australia, reported that men felt less guilt when leaving a wife alone than when they stayed with them.
“For men, they felt less shame about leaving their wives than they felt about staying with them,” lead researcher Dr Laura Haddock said.
Haddock’s study found that the greater the distance between the wife and the husband, the more guilt a man felt.
“Men who had divorced had higher levels of guilt than those who had stayed married,” she said.
Dr Giffards says that she wants to see women’s stories be told in a way that doesn’t shame women.
“What we really want to do is understand women’s feelings about being left alone and about being separated from their children, and how we can work with them to create spaces for them to be with their children,” she explained.
Dr. Guffords says that in order to do that, we need to take a look at how women are seen in the media.
“Women are often told to stay in the house, they don’t get the attention of the media,” she noted.
“This is because the media is more interested in women than men, so the media doesn’t want women to be seen as victims.”
She says that men should be able to feel as though they’re not alone and that they should feel more connected to their children and their partner.
“If men can talk about their feelings about feeling like they’re being blamed for something that’s going on in their lives and their children’s lives, and their wives are not happy with that, that could be a way for men to be more able to take ownership of their own relationships,” she added.